Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Heavy heart, heavy lifting ~ for he was all of us...

My losses mount, as do my sorrows.  Almost 10,000 beautiful souls will die from melanoma in the United States this year.  Of those, there are dear ones who touched me personally.  Sadly, I've written similar posts before ~

2012 - Gavin Snow - If you're given a gift...

2012 -  My Life with Cancer

2012 - Oh, the people you'll meet

2013 - I miss Belgium

2015 - Melanoma kills...

2015 - Merde! - again

2015 - Artie, an amazing knight - a beautiful soul

2016 saw the loss of Santos, Ms. Ituah, Dfeng, and Nathan Jones.  Not even half way through 2017 the world lost Paul, John, Vince, Juan, Charles, and Tara.

And today - Jamie.

I'm glad that their suffering will be no more.  I ache for the empty space in the hearts and arms of those who loved them.  I have felt the crushing sadness and weight of what sometimes seems a burden too heavy, too awkwardly shaped with no edges for purchase; placement in a role for which I am too weak and weary to continue. But then I realize, I am not the one who has endured the truly heavy lifting.  My bits and pieces are minuscule when compared to the load endured by these true heroes and their families. In the end, I always return to this:

No man is an island entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, 
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, 
as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were;
any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom 
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.                 ~ John Donne

For all that every loss, brings certain pain, these lives have become an incredible gift and integral part of mine.  As such, I must continue to do what I can.  I must put ALL my effort into LIVING every minute.  I must play and work and laugh and love...and cry...with all I have.  It will never be enough, but it is what I can do to honor the memory of all of these incredible folks, who live on in my heart.

In honor and remembrance of Jamie, and all my other dear ones....

"....he was my father and my mother, my brother, my friend.  He was you and me.  He was all of us."  ~  V for Vendetta

Sleep well my friends.  love, les

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