Don't give up. Don't ever give up.

Some of what has been going on with me, some of what I've been trying to say to others with questions about their life...their cancer...their treatment choices ~ brought this beautiful man and his incredible life to my mind again...

Stuart Scott.  1965-2015.  Stuart Scott's ESPY Speech

"Our life's journey is about the people that touch us...  Don't give up.  Don't ever give up.  When you die, that does not mean that you lose to cancer.  You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live. So live!  Live!!  Fight like hell!  And when you get too tired to fight, then lay down, and rest.  And let somebody else fight for you. This whole journey thing - is not a solo venture.  This is something that REQUIRES support.” ~Stuart Scott~

Life IS a journey.  With ALL the roads, and dead ends, and pit stops, and fabulous scenic routes included.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  Also the mundane, the funny, the sad. It is the joy of a job well done, the thought of things that one could do better.  It is shared experiences and quiet time alone.  

Recently, I've worked extra at the office.  I've repainted a window sill and back porch railing since the Sucky A$$ painter we hired to do it last year (that would be me!!!) didn't go to the trouble to sand things all the way down as they should have and allow plenty of time between the application of layers for things to dry fully.  This time, the painter (that would be me!!) put in a great deal more time and thorough sanding (due to an awesome assistant...B!) so the outcome should be better.

I have been enjoying my yard...both the beauty of the work put in last year (when I managed to propagate the midnight blue irises Trina gave me...to create my own Giverny with the Johnny White beauties I already had) and several years before (when B planted the peonies and Rosie worked to create the bed of roses and azaleas in the front of the house)....

I've been reading and doing laundry and sewing surprises and talking to friends and dealing with pollen and getting gas and hurting for those I know are feeling sad and writing and worrying about different kids I am taking care of and you know....just regular stuff.  I've also been dealing with considerable right hip pain for about 6 weeks.  Don't start yelling, "You should have told me!!!" (You peeps know who you are!! And I love you!!)  I have little patience for whiners...especially when the whiner is me.  It was pretty bad.  Waking me at night.  Causing a limp.  But....it IS getting better.  And, yes...bone mets went through my mind.  It could happen. It is part of the world I live in.  And, no...I didn't stop running, or working, or playing.  I considered my options...and decided I would give it a minute...then deal with whatever it turned out to be.  It wasn't muscular.  It wasn't sciatica.  It was probably arthritic in nature...either thanks to anti-PD1 or the fact that I will be 52 soon.  I'll take that!!!  It beats any of my alternatives.

And in that spirit...this is what B has been up to...  Clearing trees.  Building a box.  Hauling dirt....

It may not look like much just now.  But, soon wild flowers will be blooming all along the path.  Bitter Sweet will be climbing over the arbor.  Tomatoes, squash, beans, radishes (Oh Lord, he's trying them again!!!), and carrots will be harvested and enjoyed.  Or not....

That's the thing.  It will be as it will be.  That doesn't mean I don't care.  It doesn't mean that I'll stop trying.  Don't give up.   Don't ever give up!

Do what you love.  Make sure the peeps you love know that you do.  Do your very best.  Then sit down and KNOW that you lived!  love, c