It's been rough, but CAPOX #3 = DONE!

Whew!  It's been rough around here since my oxaliplatin infusion on the 3rd, which due to my symptoms on the prior round had been pushed back a week, placing it in the middle of my two weeks of oral capecitibine.  Neuropathies, rather horrible diarrhea, and general miserableness have been in full swing.  B was a trooper and took great care of me.  Over the past 4 or 5 days things have improved as the oxaliplatin effects diminished and I began my week "off" the capecitibine.  I've been able to do a few chores about the house and even help B with a little yard work on a warmer day.  For the past couple of days I've also managed to complete my big 10 minutes on the elliptical!!  So there's that!

My dear ones have stepped up to comfort and entertain my limp self.  Don dropped by for a chat.  Kay was over bearing yummy lemon cookies for a good talk  and tea.  Friends sent encouraging texts and sweet notes.  And my Tam Bo made me laugh as only she can with this -

Who would have imagined that such things existed???  And Lord knows they were more than appropriate this round!!!  That girl will do anything to make me smile!  Thanks to all of you!!

The neuropathies were particularly intense this round despite the dose reduction and failing to complete the entire infusion.  I think I left that little factoid out when reporting my last ta dah.  Anyhow, the pain and nausea were so bad during the infusion, that when toward the end my IV infiltrated, the nurses declined to restart it and just called it a day.  I was too sick to argue and B was all for letting it go.  At any rate, even with that diminished dose, I developed what are considered Grade III neuropathies.  Instead of my fingers having the electric "jingy jangy" sensations only with cold, that feeling was produced whenever I touched anything - no matter how gently!  General body aches and burning to hands, arms and feet were worse than ever and were persistent until just a few days ago.  Now they are diminished and intermittent.  Then there was the fact that I couldn't make my hands tear toilet paper during the first 24 hours!  Even my lips have been doing weird numbness/tingling things which continues today.  It's been interesting to try to sew a little these past two days.  I'll pick up a pin to secure my seams, only to realize I have no pin!!!  I have had more problems with my feet than on prior infusions.  While is it getting better, I've felt as though I am walking in over sized clown shoes.  I asked B if I was walking weird and he said I didn't appear to be.  My reflexes (Yes - my Medical Meerkat checks those things though my doc has not!) have been fine.  Oh, well ~ I am mostly dealing with numbness in my fingers at this point.

With all that, I fear that I cannot tolerate the "final dose" of oxaliplatin I am scheduled for Monday.  We were advised during our consultation at Vanderbilt that permanent nerve damage is avoided by postponing the oxaliplatin dose and implementing a dose reduction for Grade II symptoms.  For Grade III neuropathies, which is what we feel I've experienced this time, cessation of the drug is indicated.  Additionally, given how ill I've been, I honestly don't know that I could will myself to embark on another round.  To admit that makes me feel like a wimp and a quitter, but I just don't think I can do it.  I know there are worse treatments out there.  I feel so very badly for folks who are enduring those!!!  But, given what I've experienced, the fact that I could have settled for no additional treatment other than the surgery, and the sad reality that we are not certain this adjuvant therapy is of any benefit to me - I don't think I can face more oxaliplatin.  I have an appointment for labs, a visit with the oncologist, and the last infusion first thing Monday morning, so we will discuss all of this with her then and see what she recommends.  I do feel that I can complete the final two weeks of oral capecitibine as planned. 

For the rest of the day, I will work on some secret sewing!!!

Super psyched about that pocket.  I know!  But...it's the little things!

Happy Sunday to you and yours! - les