Sunday, July 10, 2022

June Reads - Not the lightest of choices...


Hamlet - William Shakespeare.  Surely I read this in the past, though perhaps not as I have no memory of it.  Not exactly the story I thought it would be.

The Friend - Matthew Teague.  Essay in Esquire.   Teague's wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 34, in September of 2012.  She died in September of 2014.  Their mutual friend came to help in her care in December 2013, but ended up staying until the end.  A sad, but accurate picture of love and cancer.  The movie version is also well done.

Between Two Kingdoms:  A Memoir of a Life Interrupted - Suleika Jaouad.  The title pulled from Susan Sontag's essay - Illness as a Metaphor - which argues all of us will move between the kingdoms of health and illness at various points in our lives.  Jaouad was diagnosed with leukemia at age 22.  Her story chronicles her life before diagnosis, through chemo, bone marrow transplant and more chemo over almost 4 years.  Specifically, how that experience colored her world and the people who shared it with her.  She also addresses her path to rejoining the world outside of cancer via a cross country trek in which she visited those who had touched her heart during her time in cancer purgatory. Sadly, ten years later, in November 2021, she relapsed.  Since then, she has endured yet another transplant and faces more chemo, but is still LIVING and sharing hope.

Everything Happens for a Reason, and other lies I've loved - Kate Bowler.  Bowler, an associate professor of American Christianity at Duke, who published - Blessed:  A History of the American Prosperity Gospel.  In it, she covered the tenants of the prosperity gospel as sold via megachurches, in that if you are good enough and love God enough, you win it all - riches, health, prosperity.  However, do not be fooled into thinking that though a devout Christian, she is a follower.  In 2015, at age 35, Bowler was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer with mets to her liver.  She endured numerous cancer surgeries, noting in an interview in 2018 that she had had x #'s of belly buttons due to abdominal surgeries and she liked her last one the least!  She battled through chemo, much like mine, and dealt with cold sensitivity and mental fog - to the point that, though you'd think the horrible sensation cold causes the fingers of us in such a state would be enough - her husband put a sign emblazoned with a pic of MC Hammer and the words - Girl!  You can't touch this! - on the fridge.  (Boy, do I understand!!!!)  When that line of therapy failed, it was followed by immunotherapy.  She has been cancer free since.  Due to a small mention, I suspect she is one of the patients with the 'mismatch gene' sequence who benefited so markedly from immunotherapy in the recently published study.  Basically, hers is the story of cancer survival and the long version of "What NOT to say to a cancer patient!"

If you have experienced cancer or wish to come closer to understanding the experience of cancer (though it certainly varies for each person) - I recommend the three titles above.  They are not for the faint of heart.  They are not all encompassing.  However, they all share important points.  Especially, the strangeness of finding a way forward if you are a cancer patient lucky enough to face that challenge. 

In her writing, Jaouad notes these words - 

"I have walked through many lives, some of them my own, and I am not who I was, though some principle of being abides, from which I struggle not to stray."  - The Layers, by Stanley Kunitz

For myself, from ten years ago - July 2012, I wrote these -

"I am not me anymore - or at least I am not the same me that I was." ~ Che Guevara

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro.  An incredibly strange story of love, set in a dystopian world.  Science fiction comparable only, to my mind, to one story line in Cloud Atlas.  With characters whose personalities and issues are so real their setting is secondary.  One accurate characterization being ~ those who embellish their lives cannot endure those who know the truth. Indeed!

The Buried Giant - Kazuo Ishiguro.  Intrigued by the first, I moved on to this. Another discussion of the human condition - love, honor, memory - set in a England just after the time of King Arthur and his knights.  What would be left for us and our relationships if we were without memory?

Nowhere for Very Long, the unexpected road to an unconventional life - Brianna Madia.  A very interesting tale of coming of age and determining who one is through van life and a trek through the desert, reported by Madia as the life she has lived.  Almost too much?  Who am I to say?  However, the writing does highlight both the search for self, the value of seeing the world and our own reflection in it, as well as the problems of using the internet and its dollars to promote and fund that search.  Ergo the reason you have not seen in the 12 years of its existence a single advert on this blog - though tempting offers have been made.  Not entirely sure who made the better choice - but that was mine -  for what it's worth.

Read and live ~ chaotically! - les   And today?  "...some principle of being abides, from which I struggle not to stray." - YES.

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