HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! (And ~ CAPOX as adjuvant for ex-goblet cell adenocarcinoma of the appendix = DONE!)

Happy 2019, my dear peeps!!!

The past 4 months have been a crazy, horrible nightmare, in so many ways.  As I noted here, on day 5 (12/21) of round 4, this one with capecitibine alone, my oxaliplatin having been held due to my neuropathies, abdominal pain and misery were in full force.  For five days I did nothing but move excruciatingly slowly and carefully - as anything jarring or touching my abdomen (like my own arm!!!) produced even more pain - from bed, to chair, to couch; managing that only by virtue of B's assistance and lots and lots of marinol!!  By Wednesday (12/26) my abdomen was still swollen and tender, but less so and I was able to putter about the house a little.  We held the capecitibine all that time as my colitis was too severe to handle more.  Once I was better we discussed attempting more doses, finally deciding I was done.  That was all I could stand.  The whole CAPOX tadah was pretty hellish!!!  BUT!  The most important word in that sentence is ~ WAS!!!!!!!!!!!  I AM DONE!!!!  It has been one heck of an experience!  Hopefully, it did me some good.  Lord knows, if side effects are a positive indication, I should be good to go!!!  I will see my oncologist on the 7th and develop a follow-up plan of some sort.  There is my Stage IV melanoma status to be considered.  B is concerned about all the radiation I have been exposed to with CT scans of my neck, chest, abdomen and pelvis every 3 months for the years of my trial followed by years of them every 6 months and then annually for a couple more.  And that's not even counting various PET scans, chest x-rays, and CT scans I had from 2003 to 2010 or the ones I had while hospitalized in August!  We'll see what we figure out.

I was finally able to get back on the elliptical 4 days ago for my big 15 minutes.  And today ~ I worked in my yard!!!  Though I will certainly be sore tomorrow, it was glorious!  I was able to breathe the fresh air and imagine all the beauty that spring will bring.  I still have some numbness in my fingers and hands.  My feet are burning as I type.  The nasty red painful area remains on my right forearm where the last oxaliplatin infusion infiltrated on 12/3, though it is slowly getting better.  The residual neuropathies should gradually resolve as well.

My dear peeps from near and far, pulled me through - again!!  ALL of YOU, are the reason I am here!  I have been blessed with physical and emotional support that I will NEVER be able to repay or even fully express my gratitude for.  I have been lifted up when I could not - literally (Ruthie and Bentie!!!) and emotionally by ever so many.  Kind words via cards, texts, phone calls, emails and on message boards.  Sweetness that spoiled me in all sorts of ways ~ supportive visits, inspiring books, helpful salves, anti-nausea ginger chews, beautiful talismans, playful gadgets, bright red buttons, funny distractions, meals on wheels, warm slippers, beauty in ever so many forms!  I am blessed.  I appreciate each and every one of you  more than you will ever know.

Together we've made it to 2019!  As for me, I will march forward WITH my past.  All of it.  The difficult and the beautiful.  Working to regain my strength.  Doing my best to appreciate what each day brings.  Striving to make my time on this spinning ball worth something.  Enjoying the wonder of it all.  Appreciating all of you.

For all my dear sweet peeps, may this year bring much joy, love, peace and adventure.  Much love, les