Sew Chaotically! - The good, the bad, and the ugly!!! The ROBE to hell is paved with good intentions!!!

If I had one shred of pride, there is NO WAY I would share the following sewing disaster!!!  However, as my biologic children, along with all the others I care for daily will readily attest - "Pride???  She has none!"  I will sing, beg, dance, pantomime hygiene care...you name it!  Whatever it takes to impress them with good health habits and foster their self esteem, I'll do!!  At this point in my life, I ain't got time for nothing but straight talk, whether it's about melanoma, health care as a right, the well being and education of our children, the importance of standing up for the least among us, or - sewing!  If I can share information that helps someone or makes them smile - I figure I did something worthwhile.  Now....don't get your hopes too high!!!!  I don't think I am going to change the world or teach anybody anything with THIS post!!!  But, here you go....

As you may recall, I made this jacket from a very lush fleece for a friend. Sew Chaotically! - Kimono Sashiko Jacket - Lisette B6464, plus 2 in fleece!  It went together beautifully.  It was awesome.  Everyone who saw it admired its cuteness, its finished seams, the symmetry of the collar!  And, hell! It was so easy...I made 2!!!!  Flushed with my own success, I thought - "I'll make everybody fleece robes for Christmas!!!  It will be fabulous and so easy!!!"

I even had a couple of patterns (more on that later).  This one seemed the best to use for my purposes, though it was decidedly ancient having been gifted to me from a sewist's stash years ago.  I confessed my plan to Rosie who was really psyched about the prospect!  Being cold natured she really WANTED a warm fluffy robe!  (I was pretty certain the other recipients would not be that excited about a robe...but I thought they could still enjoy one.) She happily joined me at our local JoAnn's to pick out the perfect fleece for herself and others.  With her love of purple she chose a lush purple plaid and a matching solid.

HOW DID IT GO SO WRONG????  I ask you.  Have you EVER seen a sadder excuse for a garment?  Of any sort?  Oh. My. LORD!!!!  I put forth a good deal of effort here!  EVERY seam was first stitched on my machine with the appropriate needle and walking foot...then meticulously serged.  Knowing Roo was probably the only person who truly wanted a robe, I didn't really want to make hers first, but she was my tiniest person and I reasoned I could better judge how to increase the size for the others by making hers first.  And, yes...I will address the elephant in the picture.  What the hell happened with those pockets?????  I actually worked hard on their placement!  I MEASURED carefully!  Basted in place.  Laying flat they are perfect.  Hold the robe up....and there you go!

Incredibly deflated, I tackled one for the Jamester!  Rosie had picked his material carefully.  Given the bunch of mess her robe with its contrasting "neck band" had turned into, I decided to skip that business!  To heck with using the walking foot first as well.  I just sewed the sucker up on the serger and folded the neck over.  Results are only mildly better generally.  Pocket placement was intentionally skewed with a slightly better outcome.  By now...I am beyond!!!  Why the hell had I thought this was a good idea????  How is this turning out so very, extremely badly?????!!!!  I texted Roo.  "Do you like perfect pie, symmetric and pristine, as though straight from the bakery?  Or do you find you prefer the rustic variety, with the tasty, albeit cracked and somewhat broken crust...delicious and baked with love?"  She replied, "Both?  Why?"  I said, "Never mind.  You and Jamie can have your durn robes.  They are horrifying.  I'll bring them to our workout.  My only requirement is that you have to open them together and I need pics!!!"

These pics...

...have made me (and many others)....

...laugh...

...until we had tears....

...and our stomachs hurt.  Is the Jamester a good sport or what?????

Sadly, it just gets worse!!!!  Here B is being forced to try out the robe for Fred-o who is a great deal taller, so I can try to gauge how to hem it!  However, at this point, I was getting a bit wiser....or no longer cared!  Note there is only one pocket!  (Those suckers can't look as jacked if you don't have one next door to compare it to!!!) And, I had adopted serged edges as a finished seam!!!
Wizard wand, anyone????

The fun and games that is this disaster, continued.  Here I'm trying to get my crazy model (I mean love of my life) to help me decide about sizing for a taller person with boobage!

As you might imagine ~ his 'help' was of a limited nature.

By this point, my model was about as cooperative as a recalcitrant, cranky toddler in need of a nap and a cookie.  "Hold up your arms so that I can see where to hem the sleeves," I order.
"I can't, they're tired."
"Oh, Bent.  Come on, you only held them straight for two seconds!!!" I reply.
"This is making me really hot. It's fine. I think you're done."
(Cleaning up all the fleece fuzz that covered EVERYTHING...took hours!!!!)

Clearly, thus far, I have covered the bad and the ugly.  This last IS the good, and while it did serve to restore a bit of my sewing esteem, it seems rather wrong and selfish somehow.  To struggle on to the bitter end.... 
My sweet B gave me this (picture above) for my last birthday.  Initially, on opening the package under his watchful eyes, I was simply confused.  What the - ????  It says "women's robe".... "Purl Soho" .... in a clear package labeled ... "table cover"????  Wait a minute!  B had downloaded the Purl Soho robe pattern, remembering that I had admired it.  Then, and I think this is pretty ingenious, bought one of those thick paper table "cloths" on which to create the pattern....now ensconced within the original plastic bag!!!   How sweet is that???  Perhaps I should have used this pattern all along, but he had drawn out only the small size (which would have worked for Rosie) but I wasn't certain it would work out very well with the thick fleece.

Anyhow, I made this rather lovely robe for.....ME!!!!!

The pattern is very simple with some ingenious little tricks including a hanging loop. Insides are finished with both French and flat felled seams.  The material is a super soft flannel B picked up and some remnants of a woven cotton I had left over from another project.  Both were very easy to work with.  Some folks complained of limited space in the underarm area.  I had no problems and just made the pattern as is.  However, there is a gusset piece that you can download as an addition, by Purl Soho, if you think it will be an issue for you.

I really love it!  Still, it seems super wrong to make crappy crap for others and something really nice for yourself!!!

Those smiles though!!!!!  They make my "robe to hell" totally worth it!!!  (Sorry Fred and Irina!!  I tried, I really did!!!!)

Merry Christmas, guys!!!!  Sew chaotically!  (As though I know any other way!!!) - ;>) les