Running...thoughts. Alive? Dead?

Running today I found that I was thankful.  Thankful to be running well and easy after having a cold that flared up my asthma for the past couple of weeks.  Thankful that my sweet love was also my very best friend.  That my children are people I admire.  That my daughter and I could agree to disagree about Mrs. Dalloway, "Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself." That she would happily entertain my notions and have such conversations with me.  That I have the very BEST PEN PAL EVER (thanks Jonathan!).  And then....as I ran on, my thoughts turned to menus.  Tuna and soba noodles with sesame seeds, green onion and zucchini tonight.  Pork loin, dressing, green bean casserole, maybe brussies for Bentie, and gooey chocolate cake with rum soaked cherries on the side for Thanksgiving.  A blackberry syrup I need to make for the morning after's bread pudding.  Oh...and I need pumpkin for the pies.  Then, planning the sandwiches and scones with berries and cream for a perfectly British high tea in early December for a very special grad to be!!!!

But, last week, while jogging in a similarly foggy, misty, moisty late fall day here on the mountain, I was contemplating the silhouettes of the mostly bare trees.  A few were still hanging on to their brown and crumpled leaves, but most raised empty branches skyward.  With mild curiosity, I looked over at a neighbor's yard to see if the long dead tree he seems to be taking bets on as to whether it will land on his garage or the power line was still standing.  Yep.  Still there.  But now....it looked no different from its mates.  If you hadn't watched its demise over the past seasons, you would have to look very carefully to see that it is not as viable as its fellow forest friends.  And that made me think.  Do I live like I'm alive?  Or dead?  What do my choices and actions show?  Cause, spoiler alert!!!!  We will all join my now hidden friend sooner than we can imagine.  I won't have a choice about that.  But, I do have a choice about today.  When my leaves are intact, and even when they aren't....am I making the most of being alive?  I've watched some choose to live their life as though dead already, allowing opportunities for joy and love and friendship to wither and dry on their branches.  I don't want to "live" like that.  I don't want to be part of the walking dead, hiding among the living.  I know that everyday may not be filled with joy and delirious happiness...but I certainly want it to be filled with life!!!  Even if slightly random, bizarrely beautiful, and chaotic!  To yours - c