What to do.......

Saw my pulmonologist today (Have now officially seen all docs in follow-up!). He thought I sounded great. Cough is getting better. Will have repeat PFT's at the end of this month with ABG's. Really tired of being poked but - OK. Doesn't need to see me again until Dec unless there are problems. The donkey {aka Bentie on edge} wigged him out a bit. When asked if there was anything concerning us, Brent unleashed with, "Yeah, I don't want to wait for the other shoe to drop before she has any other treatment." This momentarily unnerved the normally reserved yet cheerful Indian mystique my pulmonologist is cloaked in, but he's known Brent for a long time and soon realized this was just anxiety not a real desire for additional treatment at this time. {Well, there IS real desire for melanoma treatment at this time...but there isn't any...none at least that my pulmonologist can provide....so...} Tried to get my last labs from Lab Corp, may they rot, but, "No. We don't give results to patients." Let's see. They took my blood. Made me sign on the dotted line that they could bill me, my insurance, took a credit card,....you get the picture, but, "No, they couldn't give me the results" of the labs I had last week that took them two sticks to draw.

At any rate, what does one do with time off and cancer?

Well..... At first, reading was not an option. I mean, who cares about finishing a book about Thomas Cromwell if you might be dead in a couple of weeks. But, you live, so then what? I mean we all enter the dead zone at some point. It is something I've thought about...for the third time. And I ended up with the same answer. I finished the book. Have read three more since. I'm working hard at getting physically stronger. Which, by the way, is getting better slowly. On Sun and Mon, I ran {aka - jogged slowly and laboriously} on my regular 2 mile route except for walking up my big hill. Which to those of you who don't know....it IS REALLY big!!! Today, I did some house cleaning and yard stuff and decided that was enough. And, other days I've been doing my 15 min elliptical routine.

So...after reading and exercise, of course I spend time with my man and my critters. Fred and Rose have held my heart in there sticky little hands for 20/18 years now. And Brent, he happened to tell me today, has been looking (leering) at my legs for almost 27. They see the "colors in me, like no one else", and I in them. Although, they are all TRULY wonderful. So, it is a real gift to spend extra time with each of them.

And after that, I have crocheted three afghans (close your eyes, Ruthie!!). Worked on cooking some special meals. Caught up reading all my medical journals. Plan to do some study of Spanish and pediatrics. I am, at least, really grateful that I am not having to do 2 semesters of a master's PNP program in one in the upcoming months!!!

So....I made this choice a couple times before...move forward...even if it seems crazy...and people certainly look at me as though I'm crazy. But, hey!  It bought me 7 years. We'll see what happens this time.

Love you all - so very much - c